Republican Recap

Tonight is a big night in Iowa. After months of campaign commercials thousands of Iowans are headed out to Caucus for candidates they support. I am not caucusing, as my candidate in November already has a spot on the ballot.

Even though I am not participating tonight, I have enjoyed learning about the candidates running for office. Along with my trusty co-workers Brian and Angie I have gone to see five Republican candidates for office over the past two months. It has been quite an experience.

My trusty co-workers

One of the perks of working at a large insurance company is that Republicans line up to speak to your office. For you convenience I have arranged my comments in order from least crazy to totally crazy.

Not crazy: Mitt Romney

Do I agree with this guy? No. Do I respect him? Yes. Unlike most other candidates I heard speak, he was not an enormous ass.

Newt Gingrich: Angry Grandpa

Newt started off great. I liked the guy. Then his medication wore off and he started talking crazy. Having seen him answer questions off the cuff I can now easily imagine him shaking a rake at kids and yelling at them to get him off his lawn.

Michele Bachmann: Not the craziest

What does it say about the options that this lady is not the craziest? That's right. This tiny woman who thinks you can pray gay away and speaks of Obama like he is a disease not the president is not the craziest person I heard speak this fall.

Rick Santorum: He Probably Hates You

He spoke for 30 minutes. He didn't mention the economy until a question was asked about it. He hates gay people and women's rights. We don't exactly see eye to eye on the social issues.

Rick Perry: Frightening Nut Job

Imagine you are watching a sketch from Saturday Night Live about a politician giving a speech drunk. That's pretty much what listening to Rick Perry is like. He wants to privatize the TSA. He's for states rights but for a constitutional amendment against gay marriage. He sited a story from the Bible and said God had picked him to run for president. He didn't even speak about his platform. He had Bobby Jindal do that for him.

If Bobby Jindal runs for president I'm pretty sure I would put him between Mitt and Newt.

I am thankful for the opportunity to hear so many candidates speak. I hope that the next time I hear candidates speak they do not focus on how faith can heal our country. I think God has bigger things to do than think about tax law in the United States. I hope that candidates start focusing on how everyone can work together to keep our country great. If we spent half of the time we spend complaining about the other party working together we could accomplish a lot.