Wednesday, April 9, 2008

My Apologies to John McCain

A few nights ago I was watching TV and came upon an episode of the Soup where they were making fun of Donald Trump's recent appearance on Larry King. They weren't making fun of him because of his horrible hair, or his fake feud with Rosie, no they were making fun of him for tossing fact to the side and calling George Clooney short.

The Donald told Larry that he once met George Clooney and that Clooney is short and small. He said that he surrounded himself with smaller people so that he looked big. Larry pointed out that he was at least 5'10". The Donald said that he couldn't be and that he was certain that George was shorter than Larry. The Donald then brushed off the fact that Clooney is not tiny and went on to talk about how great The Donald is.

It was an upsetting clip to me. Not just because Donald Trump was in it, but because I saw for the first time that I am just as guilty as him. The Donald was basically saying that George was a tiny, tiny man. He was exaggerating how short he is. I have also claimed that someone is smaller than they are. Since John McCain spoke at work last fall I have been spreading falsehoods about his stature. It is time for me to come clean.

I am now retracting statements I have made over the past few months. I would like to state for the record that John McCain cannot fit in your pocket. If elected, we would not be able to save a lot of money on Air Force One by placing John McCain in our carry on. John McCain is not technically a little person. John McCain is not the size of a ventriloquist dummy. John McCain is just smaller than average.

I hate to admit that I learned from Donald Trump. I think I'll give all of the credit to The Soup. Why give credit to a mindless jerk when you can give credit to mindless TV?

By the way, a quick google search shows Clooney at 5' 10 1/2" and John McCain at 5' 7"


mary-claire said...

if this is true, how am i supposed to believe all your short richard dreyfuss talk? was that too just a bunch of lies?

bottled_milk said...

retracting is for pansies. just get bigger pockets. he's only
5'7", he'll fit.

Deirdre said...

What's with your shortism, Sarah Jane? I never knew this bigotry lived within you. Somehow, it only endears you to me even more.

Kathleen said...

So are you telling me that John McCain and I see eye to eye?