I may have flipped out a little bit today at work. Normally at work I am calm and good natured. Very little can upsets me. But there is one thing that will make me freak out wherever I am. One thing that I keep hidden from the world. One thing that makes me feel shame and intense fear all at the same time: I am scared of Large Marge.
Yes, Large Marge. From Pee Wee's Big Adventure. A movie that is rated PG. I have been scared of her since I first saw the movie. It is a very clear memory. I was a kid and we were visiting Syl and her kids in Eagle Lake. We were watching the movie in the basement. Jason said that a funny part was coming on (not technically a lie, as most people find Large Marge humorous). Large Marge came on the screen and I was terrified. I had to check the closet before I went to bed. Jason felt bad and gave me a stuffed monkey to sleep with.
This wasn't a typical I'm scared moment. This isn't like time I watched the Shining and was scared for a night. This was long term fear. I looked under the bed before I went to sleep for months. If Pee Wee's Big Adventure comes on I change the channel immediately. If I am in a social situation where I am unable to change the channel I always go to the bathroom as soon as Pee Wee gets in the semi. Large Marge terrifies me to this day.
So I'm at work today and Chris F. starts to do the Large Marge voice. He starts into her lines. I immediately tell him to stop. He, being a rational person, finds it hilarious that I want him to stop. Everyone around him wanted to get in on the action. They kept talking about Large Marge and doing the voice. I kept telling them to stop. They didn't. I wasn't actually scared, just pissed off that they would continue to do something that I said scared me.
So I did the crazy thing. I not so nicely told Chris F. to bite me, shut down my computer, and went home. Not the most mature way to handle things, but it sure did feel good.
It's important to remember that we all have things that scare us. We all have embarrassing things that come back to haunt us. You can't reason with a person's irrational fear. The best that we can do is respect that person, and understand her. The next time you're at work or hanging out with your friends, and someone starts to freak out over something small that you don't think about, please show a little understanding. I am one of the first to tease over irrational fears, but after today I will be treating people with more understanding.
I do feel free, having shared my irrational fear with the world. I encourage you to join me. Leave a comment and let everyone know what you're scared of. I promise you will feel better for having done so.